“To men who love big women”…
Talk about relatable to some degree. I always say everyone has their preferences. Some like them big and some like them small. Regardless of your preference, if you can’t take me the way I am, then why bother with me?
As a woman with some fluff (myself), I can relate to what Shasparay is saying. When it comes to dating as a plus-size woman, I find there to be two particular guys that seem to like women with a little more fluff (both for different reasons of course).
You have the man that LOVES a woman with fluff, and will make her feel like the baddest bihhh (Flawda slang) in the world. He loves every curve, every stretch mark, and loves buying you those dresses that you feel hugs too tight, but he loves every bit of it. He has no shame showing you off to the world, your weight means nothing to him. He has no issues calling you his woman and going out to eat with you…
Or, you have this type of bredro (brother) Shasaparay is referring to. The one that claims he loves you just the way you are, but in reality, he loves the idea of what he THINKS he can turn you into. This is the type of man I HATE coming across. For some reason, this man is so shallow within the way he perceives things, that he feels for some reason ALL women with fluff are either insecure or can’t find a good man because nobody really wants a woman with fluff. So he comes in thinking he’s superman by making you feel like there is no better man in the world than him that can love you the way he can. He makes you feel good about yourself for a little while, giving you the love he thinks you need, but then makes you feel horrible about yourself shortly after. The one who doesn’t want to be seen in public with you because of his own insecurites. The same one who claims he loves you the way you are, will soon be the same one telling you what you can do to “look good”. All of a sudden, you’re “ok”. You’re not really that sexy unless it’s in the bedroom. That’s the moment you’re beautiful. Yet once that moment is over (a day later), he’s back to telling you the exercises you need to do to look presentable within his eyes. Allow him to dictate your life and he can somehow transform you into the supermodel HE WANTS YOU TO BE. As if for some reason he feels you lack confidence and self-esteem about yourself (and he’s definitely going to take advantage if you do). THIS TOXIC TYPE OF MAN makes the dating world harder for us plus-size women. It’s like we’re an untalked about fetish. This man loves the intimacy and sensual relations he has with bigger woman, but is scared to even tell his friends about her. This insecure man…
It’s not us fluffy divas who have the insecurities, it’s these types of men that have insecurities within themselves. They come into our lives to make us feel insecure because they’re insecure…
I’mma drop the mic there doj (Yes, I’mma is a word in my dialect 😁)…
WORD! Yes sis, I can relate. I felt the emotion, I felt the anger, I felt the “it’s cool“, but deep down, this stings. I felt it all. Like usual, Button Poetry presents some dope talent. Check out Shasaparay with her piece To Men Who Love Big Women.